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    October 23

    不再迷惘

          已经四个多月没有写MSN SPACES了,偶尔装系统才想起MSN这个聊天软件我是曾经有号的,哎,日子越过越糊涂。
           看到端午节,才想到,那是四个月以前的事情了,真想回到那个时候,还能跟
    她一起去玩,去KTV。四个月,很短,大学里不知道虚度了多少个四个月。然而今年的这四个月,很漫长。四个月以前,我还是个无知的大学生,现在,我还是学生,却已经不再懵懂,不再迷惘。我如愿以偿的开始了在北大青鸟的计算机学习,从新的起点,接触曾经魂牵梦绕的.NET和JAVA技术。但是,我才发现,周围的同学已经找到了事业的起点,自食其力的开始了生活。从小到大,我已经花掉了家里很多的钱,都20好几的人了,还要这样下去1年半。真的感觉到自己很无能,都这么大了还不能自食其力的生活,还要花费高额的学费。北大青鸟的广告总说,“高薪就业,推荐工作”。我从来就不对高薪就业抱有幻想,我到这里来学,也只是学技
    术。推荐工作我也不感兴趣,我如果连找份工作的能力都没有,我算白活了。
           四个月前,还能跟她出去玩,时不时还能说句玩笑话。现在,只能发发铁定会
    石沉大海的短信,就算是回了,也是让心理脆弱者自杀千次万次的“警告”了,呵呵。深圳,一个熟悉到地球人都知道的名字,也是我们这些程序员被钉死就业的几个城市
    之一,由于某些原因,也是我以后的第一选择,因为,她也在那里。
          自信与快乐,努力与刻苦,这就是我这一年半的时间里要做的。不管最后的结
    果如何,我都会继续自信的生活下去。这四个月里所失去的,我会用4年甚至更长
    的时间把它取回来。也许曾经注定是没有的,我相信我会拥有。
                                                                                          -----------10月23日夜

          

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